you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
