i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize