just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
