Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The air was thick with penises
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
