i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
