I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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