Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
