yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize