wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
