he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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