whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
