id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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