I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
