oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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