There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
