He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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