all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
