I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
