Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
