Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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