My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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