grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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