apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
