Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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