do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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