I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
