Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
