Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
