Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My balls are so social today.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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