Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
