Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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