i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
