I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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