so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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