What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
