One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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