Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
