I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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