yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
