wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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