I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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