And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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