everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
