I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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