some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
