Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
