So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
