i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
