I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You've changed since you got that strap on
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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