His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
