she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
