no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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