I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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