WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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