I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
