Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
