You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
