Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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