i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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