He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
