well most of my day revolves around power hour
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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