I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
