david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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