i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize