Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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